she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and she was petting her beer can
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
