How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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