The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
