OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is wine microwaveable?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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