But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
