Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
