Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
