Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
