Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize