I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
