I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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