Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
