That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
