so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This baby is an asshole
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
