i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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