Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
