so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
