Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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