Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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