dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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