so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
