OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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