could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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