What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
