she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
