I'm going to jail i love you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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