i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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