You really coming over, don't trick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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