I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
