yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
