Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
