Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
