Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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