My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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