I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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