He uses pillows to masturbate.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
