I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
