It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
