I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sext me about skeletons
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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