She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
