I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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