I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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