Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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