You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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