it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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