you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
