The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
