you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it's like iHOP with fire
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
