Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
