Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
