He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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