just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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