i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize