I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
