I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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