He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
