Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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