ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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