:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
