PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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