Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
