I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize