She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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