I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
