everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
