i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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