I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
