Do you still have your period?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize