umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
