I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
