hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
