Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You took a bar mat shot.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
