So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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