my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize