the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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