so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
