how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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